Be my valentine.

February 14, 2017

"How do I look?" She asked. 

 

"Beautiful." I replied.

 

"I feel fat and ugly." She said with tears in her eyes.

 

I softly whispered that "no you don't, you look fine."

 

She screamed back to me "SHUT up. What would you know." And left.

 

I whimpered after her "Please stay and talk to me. Don't leave me like this."

 

She didn't come back. 

 

She was looking thin and beautiful. Beating herself up at the gym, taking cellulite treatments and keeping herself on a strict diet. She was also moving up on her career ladder. She was tough and did not take no for an answer. She drank with the men and and had sex like the men.

 

And now I was the one crying, maybe I was fat and ugly, maybe I wasn't enough. I tried to silently carry her as she wanted. But I felt my power shrinking away. She was getting anxious. I heard her say that she is not yet enough. She needs to be more.

 

I couldn't take it anymore. I kicked her in her stomach, I hit her in the head and saw her hurting. I decided to give her pain to bring her back to me. Slowly but steadily she was breaking wide open in front of me. We stared at each other in the eyes, looking for that tiny bit of trust. Anything to build on.

 

And she came back. 

 

She said softly to me "I want to be your friend".

 

With tears in my eyes I took a long breath and replied "I have been waiting my whole life for this".

 

 

 

 

 

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