Most likely you are familiar with the feeling of things not going your way. You have this great vision but you don't seem to be getting there! You feel like the universe is telling you NO with all kind of harassment. People don't answer your emails or phone calls. Someone bails out with their commitment. And some just simply say no to your brilliance. I could be talking about a relationship, a new job or starting a business.
This is so frustrating. It naturally starts to bring you down and makes you question whether or not you should be continuing with this project. Even if you're not a big believer in faith, you may start to lean into wise words that you've heard: "the stars are not aligned for this", "it's just no meant to be" and "the universe is against me".
"So is this you slipping into a victim mode or are you just being sensible?"
When you're operating from "a victim" mindset, you feel like your circumstances are given. They control what happens to you. So you are not in charge of the direction of your life and things just happen to you (or NOT!). This is closely related to beliefs, but some people are consiously very eager to hold on to this mindset, because they think that this is being in a flow. Sounds crazy, I know!
But then again, it would not be wise to keep on putting your energy into something that just isn't going to happen.
So what to do when you find yourself being torn with the option to continue on the same path or to call it quits? Do you quit and give in to ”the universe” or do you continue with faith as your only companion?
I am sorry to break it to you, but when it comes to your project, only you will know what’s best...so you have to check in with yourself. Luckily you have me to guide you through the tight spot.
So let’s go.
I am bringing three things into your consideration: The Opportunity costs, The Soul Based Approach and the Sunken Cost Mindset.
❤First we want to take a look at your opportunity costs. Because this is the place where we REALLY get stuck. This is where the flow gets killed. Opportunity cost is a term we use in economics that represents an alternative given up when a decision is made. And why we get stuck here has two dimensions: 1. We have to actually make the decision and 2. We have to let go of something.
Lets consider for example that you dream of a career change. You want to toss the 9 to 5 and become an entrepreneur. The opportunity costs would most likely be giving up the good salary, the steady income, maybe a certain status AND the comfort zone. That's a lot. These opportunity costs speak directly to our fears. So many times it feels easier to push this decision forward until the scale tilts, or until you tilt.
So when you are in the middle of a crisis with your current project, it's a really good idea to write down your opportunity costs for the possible decisions. What are you giving up with both options?
Once you have these down, you move onto The Soul Based Approach.
❤Soul wise you need to consider if this is something you truly feel a connection and passion towards? Is it something that sets your soul on fire or nourishes it on a deep level? Or is it just something you thought was a good idea, something that feels ok and a sensible thing to do? Making sure it's something that speaks to your soul is important for you to be able to create flow with it. It's also important if you want to be able to stick with it through the rough spots.
If you tick the box on the soul based approach, that YES this is exactly what I need to be doing, then you move on to the sunken cost mindset.
❤ It's good to realize that the effort and money/love/resources you have put in already are so called sunken costs. These are things you will not get back whatever happens. When we are feeling frustrated that things don't go our way, we might evaluate our situation through the lens of the sunken costs. Then we find ourselves operating with underlining thought that "I have to continue this route, because I have invested SO much already, otherwise everything will be wasted". SO NOT a flow thought. This thinking may lead us to invest even more in to a person/product/service that will not bring back the energy we have put in it.
If you feel that you're not operating from the sunken cost mindset, you have come to a conclusion that the opportunity costs are OK and your soul is leading the way, you have a definite GO on this project. And I bet you feel as light as a feather now! Your mind has been put at ease for now and you have created some room for the flow.
On the other hand you may have found that universe really is right and now is the time to move on to something or someone else where there is flow to be found.
Then be it. Just remember that you are valuable and nothing you have done has been wasted❤
Renja is a love and transformation coach who inspires women to live ridiculously satisfying lives. She is the founder of Ahaa Helsinki, that aims to save the world by bringing down to earth coaching available for everyone. She believes in the power of the individual decision, creating vision and taking action. She absolutely loves what she does, and she is always open for women who are willing and committed to create better lives for themselves.
Renja has a master's degree in Economics and is a proud alumni of Mentor Masterclass life coach training program. Renja writes two blogs: one in english here. And one in Finnish here.