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Free self study exercise

In this exercise we challenge you to interrupt your pattern of reacting with a simple question.

How move from a "life is kicking your ass big time"-day, to the "getting your hands dirty" -day?

Start the process of finding what it means to be responsible for you.

You must know the feeling of "Pooooor me, why is this happening to me? Out of all people, why me and why now? It’s not fair! This sneaky thought process easily comes to mind when something doesn’t go your way ie. shit hits the fan and triggers you into your

1 // Lonely warrior (it’s just me, myself and I!) or

2 // Victim mode (things just keep happening to me and there is nothing I can do about it).

At the same time realizing that, yes there are people being tortured to death, but I still feel like this is the end of the world. I know. My heart goes out especially to the super tired moms, whose newborn babies demand attention day and night. When you are so sleep deprived, even a spilled cup of coffee can feel like the end of the world, at least it did for me

Now, I really want you to know that this is ok. It’s more than fine to feel this way and give yourself a permission to do it. We are humans who have emotions and crazy thoughts sometimes. The proper question to ask yourself is how long do you want to spend here in these feelings? What good will this bring in to your life? Asking this question has changed my life. It has enabled me to create the life I truly want.

-- Moving from a dark place filled with tiredness, foggy thoughts and fixed attitude to a world of possibilities and growth --

How is it that some are able to rise from the ashes like a phoenix bird and some just lie down and cry waiting for someone to rescue them? The answer lies in you awareness.

- Do you realize what is truly going on?

- Do you catch yourself sliding into a different mood and that these are just your reactions and feelings?

Most people feel this in their body. I for one get tears in my eyes and my posture starts to weaken (I become the hunchback of Notre dame). Some feel their cheeks blushing or a cold sweat in their back or a great rush to the bathroom.

1 // Learn to hear the signs and take care of yourself.

2 // Give yourself compassion and lie down, take a shower or just cry.

Do what you need to do!

The key is to wake up to take responsibility of your own life and how you choose to act in this moment. Peace of cake I say, because I know the rewards!!! It might feel uncomfortable and scary, but oh, I promise you that it is so worth it. Everyday awareness will turn things around for you.


Step 1 // Calling yourself out.

Hey wait a minute, what is happening?

Step 2 // Acknowledge your feelings and let them be. Share these feelings with someone.

Listen to your body. What does your body need right this moment? Know that it’s ok to choose to give these feelings some room.

Step 3 // Asking yourself how will staying in this benefit me? What does putting myself first mean in this situation?

Decide to put yourself into a position where you can make a difference and choose to do something about this. Finding out WHY you want to change your behavior? What are you expecting as a result?

Step 4 // Ask yourself how can I make this happen?

Pick a small concrete step.

Step 5 // Realizing and giving yourself credit of actually doing this.

Step 6 // Feel awesome and in your own power.

Repeat daily or as needed, until this sits firmly in your backbone.

Renja is a love and transformation coach who inspires women to live lives true to themselves. Her strengths lie in listening and problem solving. Her clients describe her with words like: open, warm, firm, dedicated and creative. She is the founder of Ahaa Helsinki, that aims to bring down to earth coaching available for everyone. She believes in making decisions, creating visions and taking action. She absolutely loves what she does, and she is always open for women who are willing and committed to create better lives for themselves.

Renja has a master's degree in Economics and completed the Mentor Masterclass Life coach training program.

Renja writes two blogs: one in english here. And one in Finnish here.

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