Vision, Mindset, And Evidence: where coaching begins
One of the most beautiful aspects of being a coach is that I have an amazing community of
colleagues and sisters with whom we can have inspiring nerdy conversations. Philosophy, tools and
techniques are always among them! And the huge impact they have in own lives and in our clients, of
Today I want to share my philosophy and how I help clients to shift from stuck into empowered action.
I will also reveal one of my favorite tools to do so.
You might have experienced at some point that feeling of confusion, not knowing what to do about a
specific situation, not sure what you want, and a sense of hopelessness due to the many things that
have happened to you.
That was my case at some point. I had a hard upbringing, a very difficult relationship with my mom,
my dad passed away when I was only 4 years old, and I experienced a feeling of not belonging to my
family as I was raised in a nun’s school. As a young girl I remember I would ponder how I would find
my way to happiness with all that mess so early in my life.
One night, all curled up in fetal position, cold and tired of crying, and feeling lonely, away from my
family, longing more than ever for a warm hug, I guess I had a moment of wisdom, and I promised
myself that one day I will have my own loving family, that despite my circumstances I was here to
make a difference, and my life would matter. Then I felt asleep. And life was never the same after that
night at the age of 6.
Vision and Intention
That’s the power of a vision and intention. This is a core aspect in my philosophy when I begin
working with a client. We all have had these moments, and likely many of them! But there is a
moment when you can see beyond your circumstances and have a vision of what might be possible
for you. Even if you don’t know how. Your vision is your compass, it’s marking your North, and it will
remind you where you are going.
When I work with clients I always start by creating a vision of what is possible. In some cases we first
work in life purpose to find that deep alignment between the person’s soul assignment, unique gifts
and desired expression, but ultimately the most important thing in creating the life, relationships,
health, career, anything that we love is to have a vision. What do we want? At this stage you want to
be wild at dreaming, limitless.
Shifting from Victim to Creator
Once you can tap into what is possible for you and you create your vision, what typically happens
next is you begin to hear the “inner critics voices” in your head telling all the reasons why this is not
possible. They basically will come down to the circumstances of your life why this couldn’t happen:
the past, your story, what had happen to you. That’s what we call the “victim mindset”. The client finds
him/herself trapped into victimhood not knowing how to get out of that place. But there is a way out.
That’s embodying the “creator mindset”. The Creator/trice will take everything that has happened to
him/her and turn it into resilience. She might look at the past, but instead of doing it as a victim, she’d
do it as an explorer, trying to understand the golden nuggets and lessons in each experience. She
focuses on what is possible, in what she wants to create, in the possibilities. She will likely seek help
because she knows traps are self imposed. She might have a coach or mentor to feel empowered
and overcome the trap, to trust that there is a way, even when is not clear the how. That’s where
mentors and coaches can help, by reframing circumstances, by helping creating a vision, by devising
the individual steps to get to your destination, and inspiring accountability.
One of my favorite tools in this stage is what I call “evidence gathering”. It basically entails finding
inspiring evidence of what is possible. For you and for other creators. So first you’ll look into your own
life and you’ll collect evidence of the many things you’ve doubted and then you were able to succeed
at. In doing so you not only build confidence but you also remember the tools that you have and you
might have forgotten about. Then you look at other creators and creatrices you admire. What have
they created? What did it take from them? Bonus: You might even get a glimpse at what were the
steps they took ;-) This is an example that I see with my clients working towards career path and
advancement, and creating business.
Here there is inspiration beyond the creation itself. You might find people that have created
something similar to what you desire to create, like a business, a love relationship, or a family. You’ll
be reminded of what is possible and that actually people can do it! So can you!
You might also find yourself desiring something unique, that hasn’t been created yet. Wonderful!
That’s why you are here and we need you! If this is the case remember there were always creators
that have done it for the first time. So can you!
As I shared at the beginning my life had a rough start, but I didn’t let that hold me back. I had a vision
and allowed myself to believe it was possible. Over the years and with the right support, whenever I
felt stuck in victimhood, I worked on my mindset to become a creatrice. I used evidence gathering to
remind myself of the possibilities, and in some cases to delineate the steps I needed to take in my
path. I’ve had many of these situations myself, and I’ve used this approach over and over, to create a
career transition and to reclaim a Whole Fertile Life after our fertility challenges. I also see the power
of this approach while working with clients, so I know these are tools you want to know about.
Whether you desire to create something that other people have, or something absolutely new,
remember this: you are uniquely gifted, your experiences have prepared you for it, and as long as you
remember your vision, hold close to your heart the intention for it, and keep yourself in a creatrice
mindset you are on your way. You got it girl!
Fernanda Lodeiro, PhD
Whole Fertile Life and Feminine Leadership
“Nourishing the roots so life can unfold”
Need a little loving support to become the creatrice in your life? You can always contact me to request an exploratory chat to see how I could support you here. After a long journey of reclaiming a Whole Fertile Life for herself and her family and learning how to bring healing and alignment into her mind-body- spirit along the way, Fernanda embodies what she teaches and connects with people around the world spreading her message of self love and nurturance first.